Ode To A Car

2007-01-10T22:05:00.000-08:00

Farewell, my Spirit!
Farewell, my car!
O’ how I hated thee,
Yet still do I miss thy
Oil soaked stains,
That brought acid rain,
And the ego deflation
Of knowing you’re mine —
O’ how I pine
For one last chance to stall while in line
For a burrito with cheese —
(O’ would you all quit honking at me!)

O’ great Spirit!
O’ great car!
I found your trunk
A great place to dump
My unwanted junk.
O’ how it stunk!
For while I stored boxes and jeans,
And all sorts of other electronic machines,
It all began to reek
When you betrayed me at last
With an unwanted leak!
(I never could plug it, though I sought it for weeks!)

Sneaky old Spirit!
Crappy old car!
When it came to snow
I hope you know
That any old shovel would do,
And that’s how I ripped the paint off of you,
And left you to rust,
Slowly turning to dust,
And washing your tears
On the window called “rear.”
Yes, it was a total mess I fear,
But it kept people from seeing me in here.
(Yes, I was embarrassed by your grinding of gears!)

Noisy old Spirit!
Clunky old car!
Your cabin was ill-seated,
It’s comfort long depleted
By milk left by my daughter
For weeks untreated
Under piles of papers
I felt might one day be needed.
What a surprise that was
When I lifted those sheets!
And what I found, I assure you,
No longer looked like anything
That might have come from a teet!
(Ignoring it was surely no small feat!)

Silly old Spirit!
Dated old car!
That radio looked nice,
But came at a price
When it shorted out everything
And left me to croon and sing
To myself when I drove.
O’ how I strove
To put it out of my mind!
But my broken speedometer
And worthless odometer
Where always there to remind!
(It’s hard not to get a ticket without a speedometer, I find!)

So, so long, sweet Spirit!
Goodbye, my car!
You made me money
To the very last day,
When the man said he’d pay
Fifty bucks cash
And a free tow away.
What can I say?
I sold you,
Left you,
But will always remember you
As I’m muching french fries
That I bought with the cash
From selling your ass.
(It was just too good to pass.)

Farewell, Spirit, Farewell!